Aupair World - An English host family and their experiences with au pairs

Au pairs are different
We've had nine au pairs and we have had different experiences, depending on the type of person who comes to stay. Three of our au pairs were absolutely outstanding young people who were very easy to live with and who enjoyed being part of the family, going on outings with us, joining us for meals and generally making the most of their stay in the UK, and they still come back to visit us from time to time, which is lovely. We also had their families to stay, which was lovely as we could then get to know a bit more about their background. Of course there were the normal ups and down you get in any relationship, but these were easy to resolve. Three of our au pairs were what I would call OK, because they were overall pretty friendly and reasonably organised and helpful in the house, but they probably suffered from a bit more moodiness than the others, and needed a lot more instruction and motivation from the host parents, which we used to find pretty tiring after a hard days' work in the office - as one of my neighbours put it, host parents don't really want to spend their time worrying about their (adult) au pair as though they were another one of their children, as this is a major energy drain for the family.

Being an au pair is more than a job
Finally we had three au pairs who were quite disappointing and who caused us concern, for example one would not follow safety instructions for the children, one did not really want to be an au pair at all but had been pressured by their parents and made no effort in our household, and finally one behaved very strangely in the house. This was very upsetting for us but it emphasises how important it is to interview au pairs properly and also how vital it is that au pairs understand it is more than a job, it is entering into another family's life where children are involved, who must always come first in terms of safety and security.

Tips for au pairs
I think in order to be a successful au pair it is a good idea to plan for a longer rather than shorter trip, as then you get to know the culture and family better and things are more likely to be successful. It's good to try to be independent and to think through how best to support your host parents with necessarily having to be asked all the time. If you make an effort to learn how to do housework well and cook a few simple but nice dishes before you arrive, this is always appreciated too. It is also a good idea to respect the rhythm of the household - if you are too much of a night owl, this is probably going to be incompatible with people who have to be at work or school all day, so perhaps another job might be a better idea.

Tips for host families
If you want to be a successful host family, then spending time outside working hours with your au pair is a good idea, and it also makes sense to create a folder with schedules and lists of what you would like them to do, as well as contact phone numbers and suggestions for activities and outings with the children. You need to be careful not to overrun their hours and also stand up for your au pair in front of the children even if you don't always necessarily agree 100% with what the au pair has done in terms of discipline. This helps family harmony, if all the adults in the household present a united front. But most of all, enjoy the experience of having a younger person with fresh eyes join your family for a short period of time, which may lead to a lifelong relationship!

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One family and nine au pairs